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   Many people fear death and everything involving cemeteries. Was I a freak if I said I'm not one of them?
   Horror movies involving zombies, and death people walking around, what is reasonably crazy, but that just gives us a lot of discomfort and fear, then imagine spending a night locked inside this kind of place? With so many tombstones, many drawers with corpses and all those old pictures of people or even worse, dead babies ... every second, the heart seems to go out of your mouth.
   You know what is my problem? I can not see dead people as scary. I can't see in ledger, fear. And if I cried, would't be horror, or negative adrenaline through my veins; would sadness.
   The flowers that are gracing the tombstones; why they are there? Why are there still there? Kin keep coming to suffer with the memories of a death person? They are there, because the person who always tries to bring a branch to the memory of a lifeless body, regretted something that her doesn't make, and now, with no option, she sees in that act, an apology? Or are they there for pity, because no one had the decency to attend the funeral and a kind soul tries to leave more "beautiful" a cold marble slab with a photo, that photo that today there is nothing left, but a certificate of death, cause when alive, the current "lifeless" was someone without love?
   I never stopped to think about how I wanna die, probably would't want it in a painful way, like drowning, asphyxiated or burned alive. I just wish people would not take me flowers and they were not black to my funeral.
   Flowers don't remember it; flowers on a tombstone makes me think more about repentance, like if as in life, I had left things undone, had not said everything that i want and who brings to me, knew and shared my pain. Black clothes reminds grief, and I understand it is a sad moment, but it's not necessary suffering if they know that you lived it like you could live. Of course I could never do all that I wanted, it is impossible, but I tried, then it's not necessary to grief for my respect. I want bright colors in my funeral and if possible, smiles, smiles to show everyone that I died, yes, I died, but I did what I had to do, and still ate chocolate and said "I love you" trapped in the throats of many people who don't have that chance anymore.
   That regret I'll be proud to know that I didn't have, so on my tombstone I want "in memory of that who knew to say" I love you "always. 

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