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   I hate keeping looking the pictures from when I was just a kid and sudelly I start to cry, I hate have to search for things about college, and don't have time; don't have time to spend with my grandparents, to learn some new cooking recipe for that candy that my grandmother makes in every Christmas or birthday... and I find myself saying "wow, I miss that" several times a day, you know? I miss what just happened because I know I can not do it again, either through lack of courage or do not have time. The worst thing is knowing that I spend too much time dreading the day when I will not be able to see the smile most of whom I love, I'm not going to say and hear "I love you"; why parents are not eternal?
   Probably my parents don't even know the nights that I grabbed the pillow and cried, cried like I was being tortured, or as if a piece of me was being ripped off, when in fact I was just shaking with the idea that one day I could not be more the reason why my mom is proud of and my father's little girl. Why can not you stay with me forever with me? I pray every night to be with me that in eternity, where the "eternal" is really valid. I know, I know, too much time crying by step that will come and forget to live now, but I just have fear for your happiness, and mine too,  consecutively.
   Friends also make me cry ... those moments we laugh so much that stomach hurts. Sometimes we spent the whole night awake, the moment that the parents of my best friend - he's a boy - came into the room and he and I were holding hands and embraced, and then we packed up quickly so do not think that there was something else, and then laughed, returning to be that same way.
   I know nothing, NOTHING is forever, so I can't expect a miracle to make everything I love never spoil - like chocolate, or die; unfortunately my only alternative is never say goodbye. Never. Under no circumstances. Saying goodbye is to be prepared to break up and forget. I hope to make stupid jokes I have to do, hug someone while walking sideways because it makes us walk like retarded, get a stuffed animal in the middle of a toy store and dance with him, eat ice cream and sit on the benches a small square where potheads have - certainly not need to have the potheads, but in my example because it is an inside joke. Life is much more than "goodbye" because we have all received one so because some people did not take our company enough to know how much a goodbye is significant, not able to understand our mind idiotically genius, laughed at the stupid joke ...
   I do not care how many times I cried for friendships, how many times I ate a chocolate brigadier to feel better, many times I flooded the bathroom with my tears. The times when I was  at the orphanage and a small kid grabbed my leg, begging for affection and I gave in wholeheartedly, the times when I hugged someone to make her smile. At the end we return to dust, some bones last longer than others and nobody, not even our children will bring flowers to the graves. That will happen. But I prefer to give my last breath remembering the souls that I saved for God, the true smiles I saw and I teased it, the moments that shook in his hands and shouted in excitement at the thought of a dream.
   That's what matters, you know? The bad times will strengthen, but someone who is just strong don't know the good side of life, this sensitive side, who loves and is loved, that knows how to live alongside whom holds dear, is that side that makes life worth living it, is this side that makes a person able to live day by day without trying to kill yourself or just tired of everything.

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